


Ai's Confession

by Wolfs_Ayame



Category: Free!
Genre: Coming Out, Fear, Fluff, GLBTQ, GLBTQ-youth, M/M, Other, Sweet, Transgender, queer, trans youth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:43:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6549178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfs_Ayame/pseuds/Wolfs_Ayame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aiichiro has been holding back a piece of him that has been starting to affect his swimming. He is placing his trust in his sempai's, and praying that everything goes right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ai's Confession

**Author's Note:**

> I realized after I posted this originally that I had posted the wrong draft! Go me, lol
> 
> This was written for Nitori as, for some reason, I can see this being one of the reasons why he is so attached to Rin. 
> 
> This is the first fanfic that I have posted in a very longtime, and was written to take a break from the huge ass one I am writing too, and my first for Free! 
> 
> My past obsession of writing F/F haruka/michiru smut has been replaced by this group.

Ai’s Confession

  

Nitori Aiichiro sat on the floor of the dorm room he shared with a rambunctious red head, although Momotaru was not who he faced right now. The two faces who looked at him from their position on his bunk were the two people he felt safest bearing his soul with. There was a deafening beating of his heart in his ears as it thundered his chest, he could feel his throat going dry as he audibly gulped down some air. This must be what it feels like when you drown He thought to himself. He knew that eventually this moment would have to come to fruition, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t absolutely petrified.

The ruby eyes that belonged to the more emotional of the two, Matsuoka Rin, where fixed on the smaller, silver haired boy who was trembling across from him on the ground. His own fingers were laced tightly with the boy who sat next to him on the bunk. Nanase Haruka, who had to have the most incredible blue eyes in existence, had his head cocked to the side, a few strands of his raven hair falling in his sight. His normally stoic face was hinting at concern as his brows furrowed in thought as Nitori tried to find the words.

“Ai, what’s going on?” Rin finally asked, breaking the silence. “You are kind of freaking me out here kid! Don’t tell me you are quiting….Ouch! What the fuck Haru!” He exclaimed as the very pointy elbow of his boyfriend dug in to his incredibly sensitive side. Haruka’s eyes were locked with Rin’s as if to say “Shut up you idiot.” Rin, who was slowly and quite painfully so, learning how to read the depths of those sapphire blues and sat up a bit more trying to understand.

“Nitori,” Haru started to speak, causing Nitori’s head to snap up from the spot he was memorizing on the floor. “Whatever it is you don’t have to be scared, but take your time. We have a few hours till curfew.”

Nitori could feel some tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes as he looked at the two in front of him, fear and nausea rolling over him. The two across from him had already been through so much the last few months, and he prayed to every god he could think of that this wouldn’t backfire.

He felt a pang of longing, wishing he could have someone at his side like that, true support. He looked at the two 17 year olds in front of him he wondered how they made it to this point. The constant challenging of one another, the angst of Rin’s idiocy, and Haru’s incredible inability to have any tact what so ever made them quite an odd couple. But somehow there they were, sitting beside each other and very much in love with each of the others faults. He was envious of that, especially after what he had fought through the last 16 years of his life.

A shaky breath was sucked in as he closed his light blue eyes tight and found the words just tumbling out of his mouth. “I, I am transgender. I was born a girl.”

There was a deafening silence in the room and time stood still as he waited for the other two to up and run, call him disgusting, or an abomination to the world. He was really praying with every ounce of his being that these two that, out of everyone he has grown close to over his time at Samezuka, would be the most understanding.

He had already lost so many people he thought cared about him before, that he had become painfully shy and rarely really opened himself up to anyone. Lucky for him, his family had loved him enough to let him be his true self, but at his old school he faced a daily hell. There were many times he felt like dying, to just get away from the people who would tease and torment him. He faced so much alone in those hours at school that the transfer of schools probably saved his life.

He heard Rins’ track jacket rustle as it moved and prepared for the worst. A cringe caused him to try to shrink away, wanting to make himself as small as possible, suddenly wanting to just runaway or disappear.

Out of nowhere there was a hand on top of his head. He knew it was Rin’s that was softly ruffling his hair. “I know Ai.” Was simply stated with a calm voice to hopefully get the quaking boy to relax and open his eyes.

Nitori looked up, his eyes in shock, squeaking out “But… how? I never told…” His words stumbled over his lips as he looked between Rin’s compassionate fiery eyes, and the calming deep blues of Haruka’s gaze.

“When I was made captain at the start of season,“ Rin started to explain while he removed his hand and sat back to lace his fingers once more with Haruka’s, “Sei-Senpai pulled me aside and explained that there was some special circumstances regarding you. He knew about Haruka and I by this point, of course so did everyone else apparently.”  He chuckled softly, giving Haru’s hand a soft squeeze with a sideways glance of his sanguine eyes before he continued, “He knew that I was the one who could be there for you when you were ready to talk.“

At this point Nitori’s face had flushed red hot from the base of his neck to the tip of his ears. Of course their old captain would have passed the information on to the next. He knew, the coach knew, and the school administration. They had to be told because of his medication needs and how they could impact his swimming. It made sense why Rin knew, but when you are trying to come out as being born a girl you don’t exactly think with the clearest of minds.

A giggle had slipped through Ai’s lips and his shoulders started to shake lightly. He tossed his head back and just let the laughter and tears go. Haruka and Rin just looked at each other as if the kid had grown a second head.

Ai wiped the tears and his nose with the back of his hand as he visibly relaxed and looked at the two of them.

“God, I psyched myself out didn’t I? I was so afraid. If I lost the two of you I would be beyond devastated.” He said. “Here I am, having grown close to the two of you. Truthfully, especially you Rin, you have given me the extra support system I have needed. But I was feeling like I was keeping a very important part of myself hidden and like it was holding me back. If I needed you when I was struggling with this I was afraid of seeking you out.” His eyes shifted to the raven haired boy, searching his face for some form of reaction.

Rin could read the look on poor Ai’s face as he grunted at Haruka and poked him in the rib, “Oi, Haru, You are freaking the kid out, say something!”

Haru had not lifted his gaze from the boy in front of him. There were so many things rolling around in his head right now that he wasn’t even sure how to start. He knew of people going through the process, but as adults, not a child. As he was trying to formulate a question that would show he understood what gender identity is, perhaps something soothing that would put Ai at ease. But, borrowing a page from Rin, blurted out, “How does that work?”

Rin lifted his free hand and pinched the bridge of his own nose as he groaned. God, sometimes this guy was the exact opposite of eloquent.

But before Rin could say something, Ai gave a light snort, and brought the attention back to himself.

“Well, Nanase-Sempai, I was born a girl.” He sucked in a breath as he started to talk, hoping to help Haru understand and thought to himself that Iwatobi is pretty sheltered.

“My parents knew something wasn’t quite right when I was little. I never acted like a little girl, but they figured I was just a tomboy or it was a phase. It wasn’t until later, probably when I was about 6, I started to tell other kids that I was not a girl, I was, in fact, a boy, that they knew there was something they needed to seriously deal with.”

He explained how they made the extremely difficult decision, to allow Ai to truly be who he was on the inside. He and his parents had many talks with doctors and the time came to start hormone blockers to keep the girl stuff from starting. How the testosterone injections started him on his path as a teen age boy. His voice had stopped trembling as he opened up more about why he ended up transferring here. It was to escape the hell of being bullied and teased in his hometown, and how he lost people when he would find himself close to someone and open up. Why swimming had been his only real respite from the depression he felt every day. All of it. Everything just came spilling out as the other two boys listened intently, not once interjecting, and just letting him free himself of the confines that held him back.

When Ai was finally done he felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. Rin couldn’t help but smile and lean forward on the bed, taking the younger boy in his arms for a tight, reassuring hug that he had done the right thing.

It was then that Haru nodded his head and gave Nitori a soft, honest, genuine smile. One that Rin and Makoto had rarely had the privilege of seeing. Ai looked like he was about to pass out, cry, or run away screaming that there was an alien in his bedroom, when Haru spoke up.

“Thank you Nitori-kun.” Was all he said, but it spoke volumes. It was in that moment Nitori realized it wasn’t that Haruka didn’t know, but it was his way of getting NItori to really open up to the two of them.

Sometimes, Rin thought as he looked at Haru with intense admiration, this guy needed a lot more credit than some gave him.

All Rin could do was smile when he took Haru to the train station that evening, their fingers laced tightly together as they walked. Sometimes, the silence between them was the most calming thing in the world. Rin had come to revile in those moments, and made him really hope his dumb ass didn’t say anything to ruin it.

As they stood at the platform Haru had wrapped himself around Rin while he nuzzled up to his neck. It was a sweet moment that Haruka prayed would not be ruined by one of Rin’s classic dumb ass moves.

“Haru,“ Rin started, which caused the other boy to lift his chin lightly and look up, “You really surprised the hell out of me tonight.”

A very obvious smirk toyed at the corners of Haru’s mouth and as their lips brushed together for a tender kiss, he whispered “Shut up Rin.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! As someone who is apart of the LGBTQ/Trans communities I felt it was a good idea to start a little collection of coming out stories for some of our favorite swimmers! I know what its like to come out to family and friend, the fear that they will completely turn their backs on you. I was lucky that when I came out as queer and dating a transman that my family and friends embraced both of us.So I was hoping to be able to convey the need for a support system for those who are having to go through this. 
> 
> Ai is such a sweet character, and it just felt he was so.... himself.... because he is over compensating for something.


End file.
